Here we are, 10mo. later…

I didn’t originally want another baby. I was satisfied with just Evan and content enough to raise just him. However, my husband (sneaky bastard who knows me so well), appealed to the younger me who dreamed of a large family — similar to the one she grew up in.

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We tried one time, a random day on my ovulation cycle, exactly 2 weeks off the pill. When we woke up the next morning, we second-guessed that decision and said:                    “maybe we should wait” | “maybe we’re not ready” | “maybe in another year”

But guess what?

You don’t get to choose.

I knew instantly I was pregnant with Logan (which is probably why I felt like it was the longest 9mo. ever). The vomiting began just 2 weeks into gestation, and it would never stop. I’m not saying I gagged a little in the mornings, had a bit of nausea, or threw up a bit of stomach acid.

No, my friend. I. THREW. UP. All the time. ALL THE TIME.

It’s called hyperemesis gravidarum, which translated online means “severe vomiting”. Severe vomiting?! During my first trimester, I lost 30 pounds and was seen in the ER 12 times for severe dehydration. I couldn’t even hold down water. Add to that my loose bladder from Evan’s pregnancy, resulting in tons of amounts of pee coming involuntarily out, therefore making me smell homeless. Real attractive pregnancy glow [cue sarcasm].

I couldn’t leave the house without vomiting and pissing everywhere. On myself, down my pants, in the car, in the chairs I sat on, in the beds I laid in, in the stores I went to. EVERYWHERE. I felt disgusted with myself and spent most of the day at home changing my clothes, vomiting, and crying myself into hysterics.

I want to say it got better, but it didn’t. -_-

They gave me my first ultrasound at week 20, 5 weeks behind schedule. At the initial ultrasound, I was advised that something didn’t quite look right, in a very nonchalant, this is of no importance kind of manner, and that there were some images which the doctor felt might reflect Down Syndrome. They referred me to further testing, but otherwise, I was shrugged off and no other information was given.

At week 22 sequential blood work through the Harmony Blood Testing exam revealed a possible positive marker of Trisomy 21 for our little Logan. They would like me to come in to discuss our chances and other options for testing.

But, our little Logan, who already had a name, who already had a brother waiting for him, and with which whom I had already fallen hopelessly in love — might be, what? defective? No one had even told me what Trisomy21 was, nor did they even bother to explain it.

Google became my friend.

Shortly afterward, we opted for the amniocentesis, and I have to say — as a mom who has birthed naturally twice using an epidural… nothing compares to the pain of that needle piercing through the skin, then the abdomen, then the uterus, then the placenta. You feel, each. and. every. puncture.

And when you have a hyperactive fetus (like Logan), you get to ride that ride twice.

Fun times.  😉

Not.

In less than 2 weeks we got a call from Dr. Q at Maternal Fetal Medicine, that he would like to see me. Today. Within the next hour if possible. At that moment, I felt my heart sink. We were seen immediately upon arriving at the office and given another full work up ultrasound. Shortly after we were given the results, and asked very nicely about whether we had thought of how we wanted to proceed with the pregnancy?

I was so confused in this moment, as termination was never an option, no matter the results of the amnio. Hearing the doctor voice this question aloud, gave me uncertainty for one moment. One. Split. Moment. that I thought I was not meant to have this baby.

But I loved him. I loved him so much already, and I had faith that the universe knows why it does what it does. What’s meant to happen will happen. Have faith in your destiny. All that other horse shit.

So of course, we were confident in our choice to keep Logan, and raise him just like the other savages kids being raised in our house. Dr. Q was nothing short of magical as he followed our case. Through him we found the initial strength we needed, to know that our baby was going to be ok. And he was the most perfect thing we would ever lay our eyes on.

“The world needs more parents like you”

-Dr. Q

And now 10mo. after being with Logan I am ashamed at that feeling of overwhelming loss I had at the moment they told us we had a positive diagnosis. After all, an amnio has a 99.2%. accuracy rate. At that moment I just felt loss, for the life I had begun to envision with my two boys, which now seemed to be so unclear, so tumultuous, and so uncertain.

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I’ve never met an individual with Down Syndrome, and now I was about to be the mother of one. To say I was sadly unprepared is an understatement. But now? Now the only thing I know is that Logan is the biggest blessing we have ever received, and the universe truly does know what you need when you need it.

I spent the remainder of my pregnancy fighting all kinds of emotions as I processed an immense amount of information, and struggled with daily anxieties and fears… all while being unmedicated for the first time in 15 years. To say that my Bipolar Mind had reared her ugly head is the understatement of all these understatements. So, the Support System stepped in, and 2 weeks before giving birth to Logan, I moved back home with mom and dad. Half my stuff in one place, half my stuff in another. But it was the best decision I made. Not only for my own mental health and sanity but for the health of my children and family as well.

Now? Now Logan is 10 months, and in just two shorts months, he’ll turn 1. I don’t even know where the last ten months have gone as I have been through some crazy moments. I’ve lost my mind and my cool on more than one occasion, and there have been some hella crazy times. But motherhood is quite possibly the scariest hood I have ever been through. And I’ve seen some {bat shit} crazy stuff in my day.

At 10mo. my little wolverine has made huge leaps in overcoming any obstacles put before him. His “delay” is considered within “normal” (someone please define normal for me) limits and considered on par for someone who does not even have a disability.

He does have a delay in his fine and gross motor movements, so we go to physical and occupational therapy 3x a week, for 30 minutes each. We call it our “gym time”. We have upcoming therapy evaluations for speech and feeding, in hopes that we can get in front of the delay, rather than behind it.

I’ve learned so much from Logan over the past ten months. So much on motherhood, life, perspective, outlook, and love. I’ve learned to be quieter (which if you know me, is a difficult feat in and of itself), I’ve learned to be more patient and open-minded. I’ve learned compassion and strength. And I’ve learned, ultimately, that moms really can do it all, and then some!

♥JessG.

An Introduction by Ordinary Means…

An Introduction by Ordinary Means…

Hello, and welcome to our page!

We’re the Galdamez Crew.

Our family of five consists of Mom, Dad, Evan, Logan, and Cooper (my bonus baby pictured below).

Allow me to introduce, from left to right:

Evan, Avery, Logan, and Dominic.

The funny part is, this all began with one big, OOPS!

I come from a large, predominantly strong (like insanely strong and confident) female lead family, being I’m one of four sisters. If you know one of us, you know all of us (that’s just how it works in this pack). About 4 years ago, there was one missed contraceptive pill, and a month later the doctor announced: SURPRISE! You’re having a baby!

Come again now? 

9 crazy months later, we welcomed our first boy into the Roque clan, as Evan made his arrival in September of 2015. 3 short months later, Dominic would grace us with his presence, being the miracle baby of the family. Coopie arrived just in time for Evan’s first birthday, before Avery made her arrival later that December.

Once you pop, you just don’t stop. 

I guess you can say I popped the lid on that one. Because now? We got these kids coming out of everywhere, and we’re quickly becoming outnumbered.

We welcomed Logan 2 years later, and throw in our 3 other nieces — the count is where now??

8 grandkids for Abuela and Abuelo… 

Throw in the fact that were not done procreating yet…

And our mom might not survive these multiplying kids

I come from a big family

That’s an understatement, it’s only getting bigger.

Add to that, these crazy kids experience everything together and get into all kinds of trouble together. Most of the time, they don’t realize that they’re not actually brothers and sisters, and that “yes you need to go to your own home little girl” and “no you’re not coming to my house today”. At “Abuela’s Day Care” there are three toddlers and one infant on any given weekday.

They tend to do aalloottttttt of crazy shenanigans together, and it’s always the most fun they’ve ever had. The chaos that unfolds daily at our home and on our combined adventures is nothing short of hilarious. As “work from home” mom’s we spend half the time laughing at their conversations and the crazy adventures they get into; and the other half ripping our hairs out trying to decide who to punish first — and honestly speaking, its usually Avery, (she’s the little firecracker!)

la inventora de todo los mal ideas

But at the end of the day, we wouldn’t have it any other way. They love each other in the same way I love each of my sisters. The relationship dynamics between them are eerily like our own relationships. Best of all? We get to watch them grow into miniature versions of ourselves, and we get to partake in all the fun of our childhoods — all over again, but this time with our own kids. We still feel like kids ourselves most of the time.

It’s both the most work we’ve ever done, and the best of times we’ve ever had.

#boymom

 

♥JessG.

Say Hi Logan!

An introduction to Logan James Galdamez.

Hey There! This is our new space, and we would like to welcome all our new visitors. My name is Logan James — and yes, I’m named after the infamous Wolverine. I’ve been with mom and dad for 9mo. now and it has been nothing but pure love and joy. I have to note that their joy and wonder as they discover this world with me is nothing short of magical.

It was during week 22 of mommy’s pregnancy that genetic blood work came back with a positive marker for Trisomy21.

After an amniocentesis at week 23, mommy received her confirmation of a positive diagnosis for the chromosomal disorder of Trisomy21. Also, more commonly referred to as Down Syndrome. Although, I will say there is nothing down about my attitude, nor my outlook on life.

I was born in June of 2018 at 38 weeks and 5 days. My doctors at Maternal Fetal Medicine, who followed my case weekly — believed it was best for me to come out a bit earlier than we anticipated, due to my growth restriction. During weeks 32-37 of mommy’s pregnancy, I had only gained almost a pound. So, SURPRISE! Here I come two weeks early!

After the initial induction, and finally after having the water broken, I arrived in 15 short minutes. Mommy likes to say that she didn’t even know I came out until I was screaming in her arms.

“Wait, what? He’s out?! That’s it?!”
-mommy on June 27 at 9:42pm

I spent 10 days in the NICU due to feeding reluctance, and PPHN which had me oxygen dependent. During this time mommy and daddy would come to visit as much as possible, while also readying my room at home. 

Mommy likes to joke that “you would never guess I ate from a feeding tube for the first 5 days of my life”. Why? Now I eat like a champ and there hasn’t been food I don’t like. I spend most of my day discovering the environments around me while trying so hard to get the attention of Evan and my cousins.

Those first weeks after the diagnosis was rough for mommy and daddy. But, they know that the universe knows what it does. Therefore, I was meant for them, and them for me. This could be for a reason we don’t yet but certainly, for reasons we have only just begun to understand. Considering how little mom knew about Trisomy21, and the none to nil contact she’s had with individuals like me — it makes sense she was a nervous wreck.

But these smiles make it all worthwhile.

Now, almost ten months later mom and dad aren’t the only ones who have fallen completely, and totally in love with me. Due to my infectious smiles, and the wondrous beauty I see in everything, the individuals I meet and come to know, also come to see the world with the same sense of wonder.

Don’t get me wrong, I know my journey is a slow one as I meet my milestones slower than my brothers and cousin did. Mom likes to say I’m lazy, dad likes to say I’m just observing how it’s done first.

But now, at 9 months I am finally mastering the art of sitting and beginning the learning movements of crawling. When mom compares me to my brother Evan (which, yes yes, I know I shouldn’t) I’m nowhere near the running and climbing he was doing at this age.

But that doesn’t stop me from being the most perfect thing mommy has ever laid eyes on.

Follow along on our journey to hear more about my developments, as well as different material relating to mom’s journey into motherhood while managing mental illness and health.

 

-LJ